Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i need some magic done to my vagina
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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