OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
