you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
