she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize