If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Gay?
German.
Pity.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
