i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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