Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
