I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
