No, drunk sperm still make babies.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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