just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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