youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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