i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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