I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
