The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
