I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize