so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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