I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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