i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
