yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
