Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
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