Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
