i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
