Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
