You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
