i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
