I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
All I want is dick and wine.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize