I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize