I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
