Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
