im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
