I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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