3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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