I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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