Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
