I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
