I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
