I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
