This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Life is so much better after having sex.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
