I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i don't like sucking hair
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
