I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
i think my cat just said my name.
not ubering you a puppy
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
