Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
