i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
