pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
