My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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