i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
