what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
