Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
no you cant smoke seaweed
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
