he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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