I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
