I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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