Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dignity is for republicans.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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