Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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