need another drink. this is the easiest way
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
