just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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