we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
