I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
