new low.... made out with someone while peeing
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
