Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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