I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
