Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize