Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I love you. Go after that dick
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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