i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
