So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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