True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
