I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I bet he comes in French.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
